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Gael MacLean
3 min read
The Skinny on Binging
Feeling guilty about the third bowl of ice cream? Turn your guilt into a calorie-burning emotion.
Gael MacLean
4 min read
The Deep State of Forgetting
Something’s happening to the facility. Reality is getting thin here, like tissue paper held up to harsh fluorescent truth.
Gael MacLean
2 min read
Canine Mastery of the Playtitudes
In the annals of evolutionary success, one species stands as a paragon of unwavering commitment to the Playtitudes — the domestic dog.
Gael MacLean
1 min read
A Serf's Guide to Embracing Your Financial Overlords
The plutocracy offers to buy everyone a round, but only if they sign over their homes as collateral.
Gael MacLean
3 min read
UMSDERWPFLEPI Crowns Climate Chaos Queen
Local meteorologists have gone into hiding, with several spotted fleeing towards the Canadian border disguised as tumbleweeds.
Gael MacLean
1 min read
Sally Rides Again
As soon as I turned the key, Sally roared to life with a growl. Before I could react, she lurched forward—knocking me clean off.
Gael MacLean
5 min read
Gertie’s Guide to Gonif-Proofing Your Life 2
Buckle up, buttercups — Gertie’s about to drop some truth bombs that’ll make your ancestors roll in their graves!
Gael MacLean
4 min read
Operation Lawn & Order: Idaho’s Turf War on Democracy
The new law mandates that every Idaho household must display a 6-foot campaign sign on their property, visible from outer space.
Gael MacLean
4 min read
50 Shades of Black: The New Race Verification System
As Idaho grapples with this new racial classification system, one thing is certain—the potato harvest just got a lot more complicated.
Gael MacLean
3 min read
All Hail King Trump
Will the Gem State become a shining beacon of authoritarian freedom, or will it collapse under the weight of its own alternative reality?
Gael MacLean
2 min read
Idaho’s UMSDERWPFLEPI Legislature Holds First Session
“The only books our kids need are the Bible and reloading manuals,” declared State Senator Cletus “No-Dewey-Just-Do-Me” Packerton.
Gael MacLean
2 min read
Gertie’s Guide to Gonif-Proofing Your Life
Life’s a-wastin’, my little pishers. Let’s get this show on the road before the curtain falls on your sorry tuchas!
Gael MacLean
3 min read
Justice is Served: Hunter Biden Guilty on 3 Felony Counts
While we keep the rest of the nation distracted by the Hunter Biden dog and pony show, Idaho is gearing up for the real battle.
Gael MacLean
3 min read
Idaho Elects New Ultra-Mega-Super-Duper Extreme Right-Wing Patriot Freedom Party in Landslide Primary Victory
This too can happen to you BOISE — In a stunning upset, Idaho voters have decisively thrown out the incumbent Republicans and one...
Gael MacLean
2 min read
Creating the Perfect Frankenpup
With our new liposuction techniques, your pup will be rocking a six-pack faster than you can say—good boy.
Gael MacLean
5 min read
Venus Envy
I miss the days when we could just conquer new lands and bring back slaves. Now we have to pay people for their labor!
Gael MacLean
3 min read
Dude, Where’s My Sanity?
Out of the blue, a software glitch causes my car to mistake a garbage truck for a portal to another dimension.
Gael MacLean
3 min read
10 Ways to Make Money Doing Nothing
Follow these ten foolproof methods and watch the cash roll in while your conscience takes a permanent vacation.
Gael MacLean
3 min read
Beware the Spider Apocalypse
Spiders are not content to lurk in dark corners and scuttle across floors anymore. They’re everywhere. They’re hunting us.
Gael MacLean
4 min read
Hell-iday Inn™ Your Ultimate Guide to the Infernal Resort
Sizzling summer deals in the abyss Tired of those hellish vacations on Earth? Why not take a trip to the real thing? Welcome to the...
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